As my son so perfectly put it, I have experienced a sort of "revival" right before my very eyes and I almost didn't allow it to take place.It is curious to me how the enemy works because we so often allow him to steal our joy but he is so lame and tired in his ways. Why is it that after thousands of years Satan himself has never changed his tactics yet we so quickly forget the battle that lies in front of us is a direct attack from this wicked deceiver? I find myself to be so easily deceived and defeated. But this time, I will give honor praise and glory to my Great Defender for reminding me that I am not fighting against flesh and blood but against the authorities and powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places (Eph 6:12). Thank you Jesus for your faithfulness to us who are obedient to Your Word.
For months now I have been on a sort of "hiatus" from my one true calling, my gift from God, a true joy of my life, my ministry. I have been in a refining process so deep and so hot and so thick that I had to pull away from those who I loved and poured my heart into day after day for almost 2 years. It tore me apart to know that I hurt those who may not have understood why I could no longer be there for them. It hurt to think of the bond we created together in Christ, the Love we shared, the comfort and the pain we endured together and that I had pulled away from all of that. To know that my husband too in an even more drastic way, also pulled himself away from those he was so heavily involved with.
But the peace came from God to know that it was also a time of change for these kids, a time of rebuilding in their church and their surroundings in their youth group. It was a perfect time for these teens to let us go and see that there were others that were also gifted to help them and work closely with them. There were others who they could lean on and trust. It was a good time for them to see that when you get into a situation where your ministry begins to take over your life and replaces your relationship with your family and more importantly God, that it is ok to humble your self and if necessary, back away, step down, or just simply slow down. It is a good example to set for those who have such a passion to serve but may not realize the ramifications of forgetting your first ministry for your church ministry. God gave me grace and peace and he gave me approval over the situation. The mercy came when over time I began to see the kids or spend little amounts of time with them slowly. When I realized that as terrible as I felt, the kids were ok, forgiving and understanding...my kids, my hearts these amazing young soon to be adults were WISE! What a blessing!
So after 7 long months (almost 8) I have realized where I am at in my walk with Christ. Where I was was no where near where I thought I was and where I am now is far better of than any other time in my life with Christ.Oddly enough, my life, my circumstances are the worst they have ever been. But I am learning to overcome this world and set my sights on Him and Him alone. And what a lesson I have had to learn. But I feel joy and I am ready to step back as a light unto this darkness that surrounds us every day. In fact my son and I were so joyous that we planned to have a group of his friends over to our house for a night of praise and worship! A night to really praise our King and give Him honor and glory for all that he has done in our lives. So we did! We invited adults and teens and guess who had the fire and the spark to spend an entire evening worshiping Jesus? THE TEENS! Of course! The pure at heart, the childlike faith, the ones who truly still cast their cares upon him. My heart, my calling, my ministry is restored, only its better and free-er and more pure and real and open and most importantly more praiseworthy! I don't know where God has me or wants me but I know His calling for my life is to teach young people how to live victorious lives in the resurrected life of their Savior Jesus Christ and in the newness of their resurrected selves through salvation and faith.
Along came the enemy ready for battle. Attacking my character and my motives. But today I say no to him and yes to the Truth. My work is for the Lord and His will be done in my life. I will not be ashamed of the gospel of Christ, I will not be ashamed that I know my high calling from God and I know my worth in His sight because of His Son Jesus Christ. I will not go another day go by without opening my heart and my home to the broken and bitter and wounded and chained. I will not let the enemy tell me I am not allowed or not good enough or not equipped. I will move forward in faith of Jesus and His will for my life. And I will wait for Him to bring them one by one and I will serve him.
Thank you Jesus for this amazing revival in my heart and the hearts of these youth who stepped into my home broken and heavy and cast their burdens upon one another. I thank you that You can use me to show them humility and perseverance in a time of trial. I thank You Lord for using my weakness to build the faith of these young people who so badly need to know that life is going to always try to bring you down but victory is in the person Jesus Christ and the saving blood that covers all our iniquities. The life we now live on this earth we will live by faith in Him who loves us and gave his life for us. Thank You Jesus that these children can look at me and see that I choose to live in the resurrecting Power of Christ Jesus who has been raised from the dead and is seated at Your right hand Father. I Praise You Lord that we all are already in the heavenly dwelling place with you and that what you have promised us is already complete Father! I choose to live in that and I choose to show not only these kids but all that come into my path, a better way, a way that brings joy and peace in the midst of the broken world and in the midst of our heavy circumstances. Jesus use me to touch the lives of these youth and all youth that I encounter because that is the calling you have given me and I choose to follow YOU! Thank you that I was blessed so heavily to see the beauty in the tear stricken faces on these kids who raised their hands and their hearts up to you Jesus singing praises and glory to YOU Lord. Hour after hour the love and the Worship grew stronger and Your Holy Spirit moved so mightily in the room that we all felt a true revival! A true renewal of our hearts and our minds ! A revival of our Faith in You God. Forever and Always in YOU! Amen!
No comments:
Post a Comment