"But Jesus looked at them and said, with man this is impossible, but with God, all things are possible," (Matthew 19:26).

I don't really read this scripture very often nor do I use it when speaking life into others. Maybe it's because it is so overused and "played out", maybe the vision of a crowd of "feel good" Christians clapping and singing the song All things are possible comes to mind when I hear this verse. The bottom line is that this is one of the biggest if not most important promises that Jesus makes to us and we so often overlook the message he is trying to send us.
My trust is Jesus in strong, my love for Him is strong but my FAITH, as much as I proclaim to have it, sometimes wavers. I think some things are possible but not the truly impossible things. Yet as I so often hear from my pastors, the word all in the Greek language really does mean all. With God ALL things ARE possible. There will never be a definite impossibility that what we see as hopeless is not possible if we put our faith in Jesus. It is what He wants us to do. Our scheming and working and collaborating to make things just the way we need them to be in order for them to work out our way are a waste of time. These things actually  prove out disbelief and our lack of faith! And how long do these things really give us peace or make us happy? They are certainly not lasting feelings of contentment.

Here is the catch then. The "things" he is referring to in this passage is not the "thing" we are hoping and praying for, it is actually the desire for those things. In other words, he is saying "Even you sinner can overcome your desires for the worldly things and make it into My kingdom! It is possible that even you will overcome your inner cravings and lusts for this world!" He is not saying anything you want is possible with Me, he is saying "If you put your trust in Me, I can help you overcome this world and set your eyes on the things of God. The holy and righteous things of the heavenlies."

My desire as a believer is to overcome the world, yet I fight that desire with my fleshly emotions every day. Can I see myself at a place in this life where the things of this world do not tempt me? Can I see myself in this world not wanting as the world wants? Can I see myself being content with His promise and nothing else? Actually, no I can't. Do I want that more than anything else though? YES! And that is why I know that I will achieve that! Because it is possible with God! It is possible that my spiritual desires will be met! Even me, the ugly self righteous fleshly, world loving sinner. Because in His eyes I am beauty. My desire to please Him supersedes any desire of this world (1John 4:4). The power of Him who is IN ME, is strong enough to overcome the power that I fight in my flesh! Only when I believe that and trust that and lay my faith upon that will I have victory and everlasting happiness. It is then that our circumstances will NOT affect our behaviors and our will. Because we will have overcome!

The enemy can attack me, my family, my marriage, my home, my life, my loved ones, my church, but HE CANNOT reach the highest of high places the holy of holies. The place where joy is everlasting and peace is unshaken. He can only reach the temporary, the things of this world that will burn away and leave us empty once again.

IT IS ONLY THAT WHICH GOD PROMISES US THAT THE IMPOSSIBLE BECOMES POSSIBLE.

That is how we achieve inner joy, because NO ONE and NOTHING can shake our FAITH IN HIM!

I pray that today for all those who have a desire to achieve the "impossible", that which is never ending and brings a lasting inner peace. A peace which we see as  impossible but with HIM is very possible!  A peace which surpasses all understanding (Phil 4:7) only through Christ Jesus!

WAITING

I'M ON MY KNEES
THIS PAIN IS TAKING OVER ME

I CANT SEE TOMORROW
I CANT SEE MY WAY
I CAN ONLY SEE YOU LORD
I NEED HIM TO STAY!
JESUS YOU ARE MY SHIELD,
YOU LIGHT MY PATH
YOU ARE MY VOICE
AT THE ENEMY'S WRATH
JESUS HEAL THIS BROKENNESS INSIDE OF ME
THIS EMPTINESS THAT BURIES ME.
I AM SUFFOCATING, I AM DROWNING!
I CAN'T FEEL YOU, I CAN'T FIND YOU!
JESUS LIFT ME UP, GIVE ME AIR
GIVE ME HOPE IN THIS DESPAIR!
I AM FALLING INTO PIECES
I WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
LIFT ME UP LORD! CARRY MY PAIN!
LIFT ME UP! MAKE ME WHOLE AGAIN!
ALL ALONG IT WAS YOU GOD!
ALL ALONG YOU WERE THERE!
JUST WAITING FOR ME LORD
MY PAIN YOU CAN BEAR!
I'M DYING
I'M CRYING
I'M FADING
I'M WAITING...

My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. John 10:27

His sheep hear his voice...and sometimes His voice is painfully difficult to listen to. As I sit here and read my previous post I know that this is a calling that I must obey.

God is right, I hear Him. I hear him so clearly that I have decided to say "No" to Him. I am suffering. I am being put through a scornful painful fire right now and I know very well the cost of following Him. I am scared.
God I know you are taking me to the next level in our relationship and I am trying to hold onto you but I am so scared. I don't want to go where you are taking me. I know You Lord and I know what You have asked of me. I heard Your call on my life and I knew it was going to be painful but I never thought it would be this. It is not for lack of trust in you Father that I have turned back, it is because I do trust you that I have turned back. Because I know God that it is going to be just You and me for a while and I am so afraid that I will fail you. I am afraid that giving up my fleshly love will be too painful. I know that You will be there with me but I also know that Your Word is clear about what it takes to follow You. I know I will suffer. All the ones you called yours, suffered. I know that if I take your hand and step up to where you are pulling me that I am taking one more step away from this world. I know after this you will have something even more painful to follow. I know where we are going Jesus, we are going to the cross and I am afraid for my life. It is so hard for everyone around me to see what is going on between us God. That I do believe in you and that is why I am so deathly afraid to go where you go. Because this is real.
Lord you have always been so gentle with me. You have so lovingly removed one idol after another out of my life and although it hurt, I let it go for you. And with every step higher, the request has gotten bigger, and more difficult. And now, are you really taking me up that mountain that Abraham walked? Are you asking me to give up this love that I cling to so desperately? What will be next Father? Where will we go if I decide to give this up to you? I don't know how much further I can go. Cant you see that I am scared! Does not anyone see that it is fear of knowing EXACTLY where my obedience will take me.
You know God that I expected you to protect me from this. I waited for you and I counted on you. I begged you Jesus! I begged for anything but this. And you sit there and you wait.
I cant stand it! Why do you wait for me when I just want to run away. I want to say "No thank you" I love you God but I don't have to be this. Can I not just be a casual Christian? Why must I go so far with you? And why do I know that this is only the beginning? My pain is not over. It has not even begun. My suffering will never end, not in this life. I must embrace all that you give to me and it hurts because I cannot chose "No".

Lord you and I have an amazing relationship. You know I call out to you always. You know I always seek Your face. I am always asking you to lead me to the cross so that I can meet you there. And you have done that. You have answered my request to find you. Now I must answer Yours to follow You. Please be gentle with me God, I am weak. I am scared. I am lonely. I need you. I need you now more than I ever needed you. Manifest yourself to me my God. Help me carry my cross, make my burden light. Promise me love....I repent....I am sorry....I am here...I love you my Jesus my God. And I know you love me more... so I give you my hand...take me...I am ready.

"See, I have refined you, though not as silver. I have tested you in the furnace of affliction. For My own sake I do this."Isaiah 48:10

A goldsmith begins with gold ore that is a mixture of pure gold and dross. By repeatedly putting the ore into fire, the dross is gradually burned off and the gold is slowly purified. He continues to turn up the heat until all the dross is cleared and he can see his reflection in the gold. God is like the goldsmith. He turns up the heat in our lives and continues to refine our faith so that the character of Jesus is reflected in us. In this fire God reveals the dross in our faith in Him. He shows us what is getting in the way of seeing His reflection in us. Once the dross is burned away, our faith in Him alone becomes stronger. God is refining us! And yes this "fire" is suffering. Its suffering deeply and painfully. An emotional suffering, a physical suffering. God does not limit our suffering however He does promise that He will not give us more that we can bear.

As I begin this journey into discipleship, I begin to understand what it means to "count the cost" because the cost is there and it is big. If you desire to be Christlike you may want to consider what this will entail in your life. It will require a complete 100% dependence on CHRIST and CHRIST alone. And if you think you are already 100% dependent on Him, you are wrong. You are not. And He will show you that. He will honor our request to be like Him and put you through the fire. He will test everything that means everything to you against what HE means to you. He will ask you to choose. He will make you feel so alone that only HE can fill your pain. He will bring you to a dark and lonely place and wait for you to call on Him. And if you don't call on Him, he will keep you there until you do.In Luke 14 Jesus clearly tells us what it takes to follow Him. And the cost is big. Anything that is close to our heart will be tested. The cost of discipleship is giving up ALL THINGS. The cost of discipleship is painfully letting go of worldly security and comfort. The cost of discipleship is letting go of anything that ministers to this world. The cost of discipleship will rock your world. It will pierce your heart and test your faith in a way that you cry out in sheer agony for Christ to rescue you. The cost for Jesus was His Cross and the cost for us will be our cross.

This "fire" is the fire that James say "Count all in Joy". This fire will refine us and make us like Jesus. Through our sufferings, God has promised something wonderful. And in our sufferings, HE IS THERE. He was there for me. He was there to meet me in my dark and painful cave when I called on His name. He was there to hold me and comfort me when I felt no one else was. He was there to whisper to me "Do not be afraid, for I am with you, Do not be dismayed, for I am your God and I will strengthen you!" (Is 41) He was there to say "I will never leave you nor forsake you" (Heb 13) And I know His promise now. I know His desire to purify my heart. I know that when I pray for Him to make me his disciple I am asking Him to take a hold of my life and do with it what He wills. I have counted the cost and the cost is great but the reward is greater. 

I suffer for Holiness and I rejoice ! I rejoice that it is here that I find Him! It is here in my suffering that my GOD has manifested Himself to me. I count it all joy when I enter into a trial that I will see HIM standing in the midst of it with His arms open standing on His promise. My faith is put through the fire and it comes out refined.  I rejoice ! 

Jesus you are taking me on a dark and unfamiliar journey but I hold tight to YOU Lord. I cannot see in front of me and I appear to be alone but I know you are here with me. I stand before you today God firm in my faith and assured in your promise that I am in Your hands and no one can take me away from You. I know I must suffer for your Namesake and I know You are not ready to take away my pain. I ask you Lord to cover me and allow me to take refuge in your promise God. I am ready to move forward and take up my cross. I am ready Jesus to be your disciple.

In Your Holy and Mighty Name I give you My Life~

Amen

Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. 1Timothy 4:12

Tonight I sat  and watched as 8 young Christians spoke about the Atoning Death of Jesus Christ. Every week for six weeks we have watched them grow in their faith yet every week it brings me to tears to see the spark in their eyes as they speak about the amazing Word of God. And tonight especially as we ended our study with worship led by yet another teen who sang his heart out for Christ right there in my living room.  These young Christians are teenagers. Most not Christians more than three years and if they have been, they had definitely not counted the cost of what Christ calls us to be. Not until now that is. These young believers began as a group of 29 youth kids joining a bible study that was 8 weeks in length. As the weeks went by several kids had a desire to go deeper in their study of Christ. My husband and I waited and prayed. We waited to see who really had a desire to go deeper and we offered 15 dedicated kids out of the 29 the opportunity to do a discipleship class that would be ongoing for several months. Out of the 15, we have 8 solid, solid, hungry teenagers that get better and better understanding by the week on what it means to follow Jesus. Ever week  I see them have a genuine desire to be more Christlike in every way.

 I want so badly to just shelter them from all that I know is ahead. The struggle to find faith, the disappointments, the betrayal of man, the rejection! All of the pain that Jesus promises we will endure if we stay faithful till the end. But even as I listened to my own two teenage boys speak of their understanding of the precious blood that was shed that horrific day when our Savior was hung on a cross and put to death, I realize we have the opportunity to choose to deepen our relationship with Christ. These young believers are choosing Christ! They are saying "I know the cost of denying myself and I choose to pick up my cross and bear it."  And this is such a beautiful thing. These young Christians are learning about what it takes to make a true disciple of Christ and they are stepping out in faith towards the path of righteousness. They are learning what it means to find their strength and comfort in HIM and not man. They are taking advantage of the season of their youth by preparing themselves to become healthy, strong men and woman of God. To understand that it is easy to hold tight to Christ in the midst of joy and celebration but quite a different thing to hold tight to Christ in the midst of pain, lonliness and disappointment. These Christians are getting a taste of leadership! They are young in flesh but wise in spirit for they themselves chose the path of the courageous. And oh how courageous will they be if they hold firm to His Word during these prevalent times!  If they could really grasp the understanding that some of our hardest lessons are learned during our trials if we will just turn in intimacy to our Protector Jesus Christ.

Lord God, Prepare the hearts of these young believers to walk with you always. Give them the strength to endure the pain and humiliation they may endure as followers of you Lord God. Give them the wisdom to know Lord how to lay down their life and wait with long suffering until the day of your return Jesus. Lord,
Let no one despise them for your youth, but see them as an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity.

For Many are Called but few are Chosen

I am reading a book currently called The "Downgrade" Controversy by my all time favorite theologian Charles Spurgeon. It saddens me to know that in his book Spurgeon talks about an issue that remains today and that is the dangers of modernism, most lately referred to "emergent". The emergent church movement is so eager and ready to welcome wolves into the church often causing a downgrade of doctrine truth in order to make these non-believers feel comfortable.
The point that I am trying to get at is that we as believers need to understand that the Word of God is not always a comfortable thing. Speaking the truth about repentance and rebirth will often times offend someone who is not yet ready to follow Jesus as a disciple but will also reach a person who is so ready to give up his life and follow Jesus.

I will admit that even now I don't think I am always counting the cost of following Him when I am going through a time of trial. I understand what it is that God is doing in my life yet I still beg him to rescue me from my pain.

The life of a disciple is difficult. For me and people like me especially, who are so dependent on other "people" to make us feel happy. Our moods depend on how their mood is and our success depends on what they think of us. Victory comes when we hear from that person that they are happy with us. Failure comes when that person is disappointed in us.

I can clearly say that my personal experience with GOD is that HE will take this away from us! If we have the right heart to follow Jesus I guarantee He will honor that by allowing us to feel alone with no one but HIM to cling to. He will take away our loved ones in a way that their relationship with us will not be fully complete. We will not feel satisfied and we will feel alone and frustrated if we do not see that these are the times we must turn to CHRIST and FOLLOW HIM.

Taking up our cross means dying daily a difficult painful death of our flesh in order to see what Gods plan for our life is. It means being truly reliant on Him and Him alone. It means strict obedience to His entire Counsel, regardless of weather we feel comfortable or uncomfortable. Regardless of anything that surrounds our life. Regardless of our circumstance. Regardless of our unbelieving spouse or any unbelieving family members. Our life must fully depend on Christ in order for Him to complete a work in us.

How many people want to follow him now? Not many I can guarantee. His Word says
“For many are called, but few are chosen." Matt 22:14

Always in every prayer of mine for you all making request with joy, Philippians 1:4

Matthew Henry speaks of this "As holy joy is the heart and soul of thankful praise, so thankful praise is the lip and language of holy joy."
This speaks to me so clearly. As I sometimes pray I realize the heart of my prayers and wonder, "Is God listening to this request" I even ask myself often times "Are my motives truly pure?" Is my soul giving thankful praise? Or do I simply follow the guidelines of "effective prayer"? Do I have holy joy when praying for another?... "holy joy is the heart and soul of thankful praise" How powerful those words! Paul while praying for the churches did so with joy. He rejoiced to the Lord for all people. To truly have joyful prayers at all seems so simple but to consider the word "rejoice", I begin to realize the joyfulness that Paul must have had just to simply pray at all! How many times do we dread the thought of prayer, to have to find the extra time to sit and be in communion with our Lord and Savior, the Creator of the Universe. And when we do begin how often do we rush to finish. Does it become a chore? Do we simply check PRAY off our "to do" list'. And when we ask God, "How can I glorify you today?" is our heart really ready to receive what He wants to speak to us? Do we not all seek to be so at one with the will of God that we can rejoice with joy regardless of what His will is? And, if we could see His will before us and be given the opportunity to change it, would we? Do we rejoice in the joy of His awesome plan for our life?
Lord I just ask you today to give me a pure heart. Give me the desires to pray joyfully! To rejoice with you Lord that I am able to have this communion with you. That You Lord God have given me direct access to You, my Holy God, the Maker of Heaven and Earth! Today Lord, I rejoice that I am yours! And that you God hear the prayers of a righteous man! I rejoice in the knowledge that YOU have a plan for my life and in you I can take rest!