Even the righteousness of God which is by faith of Jesus Christ unto all and upon all them that believe: for there is no difference: for all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; Romans 3:22‑23
I know scripture, I know Gods character, my comprehension level is what I would consider above average when it comes to understanding His Word. I can read a passage, explain a passage and use a passage to reach another believer. I am a Christian, a Christ Follower. I love God. I believe in God. I teach God to my children.
So why then, do I continue to have such a struggle with receiving the Love that God is so freely offering to me? Why then do I continue to seek this love in all places but in the One place where I know I will receive it?
Why do I continue to replace this love with other things, other people? Why do I push this love away when it is the one thing I so desperately want!
I know the Word of God! I know what God expects from me! I know that there is a cost, a constant self sacrificial cost to discipleship! And yet I live as if I know nothing. I live as if I believe nothing. I live as if I have nothing! Even an atheist has made a choice! I, on the other hand chose to not chose. I chose safe. I chose compromise. I chose lukewarm. I chose maybe, sometimes or not today. I chose no.
So many of us believers feel so broken and chained down because we know the truth and we fall short everyday. Some more than others. Some in different ways than others. Some of us, if we are true believers, are chained to our sin because we freely chose to stayed chained to our sin. Its a decision that we make to continue living in a sin that does not even give us a temporary pleasure because we feel the uncomfortable, sickness in our Spirit ever time we do it. But we do it. We do it over and over and over. Until one day, we realize we have been robbed. We realize we are stripped naked and exposed. Our life is gone. We are backed into a corner. We cant turn left or right. We cant go back. We cant even go forward. We are just there. Stuck and broken, helpless, tired, ashamed and alone.
The pleasure and happiness we so willingly sought was never enough to fill us up. We try to overtake our idols and squeeze them in next to our God. We try to explain away our sinfulness by cheapening Gods grace and allowing the sin to continue. After all, we are all sinners, we all fall short. God understands right? But then what happens next? What happens when we see that God does understand but He does not accept. What happens when we realize that God is not going to share the throne with anyone or anything? God will freely step aside and allow our idols to be our god. He will allow us to dance with the devil. To dine with the enemy. But He will not let it devour us. He will not let it fulfill us. He will not let it overtake us. Because it will never feel better than the fullness and oneness of only Him. It might put a band aid on our broken hearts for a time but it can never regenerate us and give us a new heart, a clean heart, a heart with a passion and fire for the Truth. A heart that is healed. A heart that is pure. A heart that receives goodness and mercy because it understand goodness and mercy. Because it too is goodness and mercy.
Our sins often overshadow what His greatness can do in our lives but only for a moment. Because we stop ourselves and say "Lord I cant follow your ways! I'm a sinner and I don't know how to stop!" We cry out to Jesus "Save me". Maybe we cry out to him several times before we actually make the choice to allow him to save us. But the bottom line is we cry out to Jesus. We acknowledge that we need Him. We call on Him in despair and loneliness and usually , like the prodigal's son, when we realize it was far better in our Fathers house than anywhere else we have ever tried to be. So we turn to him and we surrender. We must surrender. It is the only way to repentance. The true repentance that leads us back on the right path. The path that says we cannot do anything alone, it is only through the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ that we are even back on the path again. It is this acknowledgment and understanding that will lead us to righteousness and true everlasting Joy.
Dont ask yourself why do I continue to sin, remind yourself that you are no longer a sinner. Believe what has been given to you, whats been bought for you. Believe in a full liberating life that Christ gave to you by the shedding of His blood on the Cross! Believe it and receive it! Jesus said, "Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free."!
